Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Katie... For The Win

I was asking the kids for suggestions as to a good question to submit on Tumblr. Natecommented that the best was hands-down A/S/L.

“No! A/S/L is the lamest question!’

Katie responds with, “Wait, what’s A/S/L?”

So I explain that before FaceBook and Twitter, when you didn’t have lots of web pages to talk about yourself, that you would enter a chatroom and that was the first question, so everyone knew who they were talking to (or so they thought). She still looks confused to I offer an example.

“Mine would be 38/female/Utah.”
“OH!” she says with dawning comprehension. “That’s makes so much more sense than what I was thinking of… 28/straight/in a bar…”

Oh, lord, that girl is going to be the death of me.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Charlie Sheen hates Thomas Jefferson?

Do you see, about halfway down, where he says Thomas Jefferson was a pussy?  I think that might be a case of Pot calling Kettle, or It Takes One To Know One.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Because ALL the animals have some pink ones

We were at Cabela's a couple weeks ago. My daughter spies a display of camo backpacks. Right on top is this:

She begged me to take a picture and post to my blog. She said, "Duh. Like there's so much pink in the wild!"

Ahhh, she's a mini-me. Does my heart good.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I'm pretty sure it's a bar...

This is in downtown Salt Lake City. I think I'm going to follow their lead. Open a store and call it "STORE"

'Nuff said.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Kellog's Frosted Blueberry Muffin Mini-Wheats

Have you heard of these?

The benefits of Mini-Wheats with Blueberries! How can you go wrong? I mean, look at the pictures of plump, ripe, yummy blueberries right there on the front of the box. But wait...

Yep, that's right. Blueberry flavored crunchlets. WTF??

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Family conversations...

Husband: so what do you think vampire sex is like -cold?
Daughter (13): obviously not sterile
At HP: Katie: Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter. 
Me: Don't wet yourself. 
K: Too late.
Ah, the anticipation of the mock-worthy just makes my life lovely!

I mock until she explodes...

K: Do you know what city has the most earthquakes? 
 Me: Tokyo. 
K: Do you know why? 
Me: Godzilla? 
K: * sigh *

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I'm raising a mocker...

K: I was just trying to sound pretentious. 
Me: Good job, Douchy McDoucherton. 
K: Mom, calling somebody a douche makes you sound like a douche. - K FTW

Edifying Morning Conversation

In the car this morning, on the way to take The Boy to school, the following topics were discussed:

* The eating pecking order of the household if food becomes scarce (and the fact that it's only fair to eat those who are most likely to expire quickly first):
    1. Furball Cat
    2.The Boy
    3. Shadow Cat
    4. Ginger (the puppy - who is assumed will have grown by then)  

* The obvious forthcoming Zombie Revolution
* Who will be thrown to the Zombies first - and the fact that, though The Boy would prefer it, The Girl can't be tossed to the Zombies as she is most likely to be able to figure out a way to repel them
* Whether or not Zombies poop
* Can Zombies starve to death since they are already dead

Ah, with a morning start of such lofty conversation, how can the day be anything but positive? :/

Sunday, January 9, 2011

And they glitter!

I was browsing my local grocery store the other day and found the Utopia of mockery.

If you look closely, you can see that two of the four candies shown on each of the boxes      * sparkle *. Yep, sparkle. Holy hell.

Bacon Popcorn! "Hear the Pop. Taste the Sizzle."

Bacon-flavored popcorn. As virtually any man can tell you, there can't be a better combination - except maybe bacon-maple ice cream.

After the excitement of finding this in the mailbox, I took a closer look.

Yes, it is safe for Vegans and Vegetarians. Well, really, it's safe for those folks who still really miss the taste of meat.