I mock until she explodes...

K: Do you know what city has the most earthquakes? 

 Me: Tokyo. 

K: Do you know why? 

Me: Godzilla? 

K: * sigh *

I'm raising a mocker...

K: I was just trying to sound pretentious. 

Me: Good job, Douchy McDoucherton. 

K: Mom, calling somebody a douche makes you sound like a douche. - K FTW

Edifying Morning Conversation

In the car this morning, on the way to take The Boy to school, the following topics were discussed:

* The eating pecking order of the household if food becomes scarce (and the fact that it's only fair to eat those who are most likely to expire quickly first):
    1. Furball Cat
    2.The Boy
    3. Shadow Cat
    4. Ginger (the puppy - who is assumed will have grown by then)  

* The obvious forthcoming Zombie Revolution
* Who will be thrown to the Zombies first - and the fact that, though The Boy would prefer it, The Girl can't be tossed to the Zombies as she is most likely to be able to figure out a way to repel them
* Whether or not Zombies poop
* Can Zombies starve to death since they are already dead


Ah, with a morning start of such lofty conversation, how can the day be anything but positive? :/

And they glitter!

I was browsing my local grocery store the other day and found the Utopia of mockery.

If you look closely, you can see that two of the four candies shown on each of the boxes      * sparkle *. Yep, sparkle. Holy hell.

Bacon Popcorn! "Hear the Pop. Taste the Sizzle."

Bacon-flavored popcorn. As virtually any man can tell you, there can't be a better combination - except maybe bacon-maple ice cream.

After the excitement of finding this in the mailbox, I took a closer look.

Yes, it is safe for Vegans and Vegetarians. Well, really, it's safe for those folks who still really miss the taste of meat.

Mondays

As we all know, Mondays suck. So, after a long (Mon)day, you can come home and "get the Monday off."

Remember not to scrub. I have been warned that scrubbing never helps anything.

You can find MondayBleach at shopping.IMock.com.

SPICY

Just before Thanksgiving, I was in the store shopping. I came upon an amazing site. A large stack of plastic bulk containers of... spices. Yes, spices. Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Cloves, Allspice, Cardamom. I cannot imagine using that much spice all at once. And imagine the mess if you happen to not close the container completely. OMG. Whose stupid idea was this??