Don't Give In To The EYES

She does NOT need bacon!

Katie... For The Win

I was asking the kids for suggestions as to a good question to submit on Tumblr. Natecommented that the best was hands-down A/S/L.

“No! A/S/L is the lamest question!’

Katie responds with, “Wait, what’s A/S/L?”

So I explain that before FaceBook and Twitter, when you didn’t have lots of web pages to talk about yourself, that you would enter a chatroom and that was the first question, so everyone knew who they were talking to (or so they thought). She still looks confused to I offer an example.

“Mine would be 38/female/Utah.”
“OH!” she says with dawning comprehension. “That’s makes so much more sense than what I was thinking of… 28/straight/in a bar…”

Oh, lord, that girl is going to be the death of me.

Charlie Sheen hates Thomas Jefferson?

Do you see, about halfway down, where he says Thomas Jefferson was a pussy?  I think that might be a case of Pot calling Kettle, or It Takes One To Know One.
http://www.complex.com/pop-culture/2011/02/charlie-sheen-hates-thomas-jefferson-rehab

Because ALL the animals have some pink ones

We were at Cabela's a couple weeks ago. My daughter spies a display of camo backpacks. Right on top is this:

She begged me to take a picture and post to my blog. She said, "Duh. Like there's so much pink in the wild!"

Ahhh, she's a mini-me. Does my heart good.

I'm pretty sure it's a bar...

This is in downtown Salt Lake City. I think I'm going to follow their lead. Open a store and call it "STORE"

'Nuff said.

Kellog's Frosted Blueberry Muffin Mini-Wheats

Have you heard of these?

The benefits of Mini-Wheats with Blueberries! How can you go wrong? I mean, look at the pictures of plump, ripe, yummy blueberries right there on the front of the box. But wait...

Yep, that's right. Blueberry flavored crunchlets. WTF??

Family conversations...

Husband: so what do you think vampire sex is like -cold?
Daughter (13): obviously not sterile

===========================

At HP: Katie: Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter. 

Me: Don't wet yourself. 

K: Too late.

 =====================================

Ah, the anticipation of the mock-worthy just makes my life lovely!

 

I mock until she explodes...

K: Do you know what city has the most earthquakes? 

 Me: Tokyo. 

K: Do you know why? 

Me: Godzilla? 

K: * sigh *

I'm raising a mocker...

K: I was just trying to sound pretentious. 

Me: Good job, Douchy McDoucherton. 

K: Mom, calling somebody a douche makes you sound like a douche. - K FTW

Edifying Morning Conversation

In the car this morning, on the way to take The Boy to school, the following topics were discussed:

* The eating pecking order of the household if food becomes scarce (and the fact that it's only fair to eat those who are most likely to expire quickly first):
    1. Furball Cat
    2.The Boy
    3. Shadow Cat
    4. Ginger (the puppy - who is assumed will have grown by then)  

* The obvious forthcoming Zombie Revolution
* Who will be thrown to the Zombies first - and the fact that, though The Boy would prefer it, The Girl can't be tossed to the Zombies as she is most likely to be able to figure out a way to repel them
* Whether or not Zombies poop
* Can Zombies starve to death since they are already dead


Ah, with a morning start of such lofty conversation, how can the day be anything but positive? :/

And they glitter!

I was browsing my local grocery store the other day and found the Utopia of mockery.

If you look closely, you can see that two of the four candies shown on each of the boxes      * sparkle *. Yep, sparkle. Holy hell.

Bacon Popcorn! "Hear the Pop. Taste the Sizzle."

Bacon-flavored popcorn. As virtually any man can tell you, there can't be a better combination - except maybe bacon-maple ice cream.

After the excitement of finding this in the mailbox, I took a closer look.

Yes, it is safe for Vegans and Vegetarians. Well, really, it's safe for those folks who still really miss the taste of meat.

Mondays

As we all know, Mondays suck. So, after a long (Mon)day, you can come home and "get the Monday off."

Remember not to scrub. I have been warned that scrubbing never helps anything.

You can find MondayBleach at shopping.IMock.com.

SPICY

Just before Thanksgiving, I was in the store shopping. I came upon an amazing site. A large stack of plastic bulk containers of... spices. Yes, spices. Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Cloves, Allspice, Cardamom. I cannot imagine using that much spice all at once. And imagine the mess if you happen to not close the container completely. OMG. Whose stupid idea was this??

Real-Life Facebook Comments

We need Facebook posting in real life. At the very yummy Caputos Deli in the Humanities building today, I noticed a poster announcing a design contest, I think. "If the future is not electric cars, what is it?"

I need the patented Real-Life Facebook Poster so I could add a tag to the bottom: Tomorrow.

* blink, blink *

http://www.geek.com/articles/geek-cetera/canned-unicorn-meat-gets-held-up-at-german-customs-as-the-real-deal-2010123/

Canned Unicorn Meat held-up at German Customs, confused with the real deal

Dec. 3, 2010 (10:55 am) By: Doug Osborne

When our sister site ThinkGeek decided to take an April Fool’s Day item and turn it into a real one, consumers became giddy to be one of the first owners of a tin of “Canned Unicorn Meat.” Although the item inside the can is in reality a dissected plush Unicorn toy, German Customs Authorities were not laughing when they seized an order for the magically delicious treat when it arrived in the country.
It seems German Customs officers believe the ThinkGeek item is actually meat from a “rare” animal and as such has been held-up for delivery according to a German consumer by the name of Ingomaras. She explains in a message she sent to ThinkGeek.

Folks,
I just learned that it is not very helpful to describe the “canned unicorn meat” as “canned unicorn meat” on the invoice when trying to import this.
Customs get really irritated as it’s supposedly food and meat of a “rare” animal. For the sake of keeping things smooth please label it as “canned unicorn (plush toy)” or something less conspicuous.
My delicous [sic] unicorn is stuck in customs for almost a week now.
Best regards,
Ingomar

I guess the two things we can learn from this scenario are:  German Customs are very literal when it comes to items entering the country and/or at some point there were actually Unicorns running around Germany.
Read more at GeekOSystem, via Geekologie

SNNNNOOOOWWWWW

So, yesterday we were in heavy anticipation of the snowstorm to end all snow storms. One of those, "stay off the roads... if possible, do not leave your homes... the elderly and very young WILL NOT SURVIVE" kind of storms. Schools sent children home early; colleges and universities closed campus; hundreds of snow plows were gassed and ready to hit the streets. We were prepared. Then came "Snow-maggedon"..."Snow-zilla"... "Snow-pocolypse"... or not. It snowed pretty heavily at my house for about an hour and then.... nothing. Yep, I woke up this morning to approximately 4 more inches of snow. The other end of the valley seems to have received even less. Truly, the Storm Of The Century was "Snow-verrated"

Courtesy of Noodles and Company

I love it when my food and/or eating implements works to entertain me while I dine. At Noodles & Co, I always go for the chopsticks. Today, I noticed this:

Now THAT'S my kind of chopstick!